Happy 24th birthday to myself!

The past 2 months were hectic for me. Due to my supplementary papers, it pushed back my holiday plans with my family in July. I was worried for my research essay results and supplementary papers. Thankfully God answered my prayers. Everything went well and I don't need to repeat any of the module. Phew.

Today felt like a normal day. No lighted birthday cake, except scolding from someone. It doesn't matter as long as I received love from those who appreciate me. Many at times, my heart was broken because of someone. I did not know who to confide in, except my boo which makes me rather upset because I always felt so apologetic to him. Hopefully, things get better in time. ); 

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Viral infection for 1 week

Last week I was down with a viral infection that my fever would not subside. Seen different GP way too many times that I decided to head to SGH A&E to seek for treatment. I felt that it was the worst time of my life. I was sleeping the whole week away that I had to skip my exams this week as I did not prepare for it. Because of this illness, I got to take my exams in July and my holiday plans are ruined. Thankfully I did not book my flight ticket to Thailand as it clashes with my exam dates. I felt terribly sorry to my babe because he took the time to come to SG to visit me but there are some other things that I need to settle. ): Also, aunt Cecilia would be coming back home tonight. My duty of taking care of grandpa for 3 weeks is finally completed. Yayy!

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Best friend? More like bad friend!

I have a colleague of mine that I treated her as my best friend. There was once we went to JB together and we bought a pair of spectacles. I used my credit card to pay for our spectacles first since we did not bring enough cash at the point of time. Fast forward 2 months later, I kept chasing her for my money but she would come up with shit tons of excuses. Such as she forgotten to transfer me the money and to remind her tmr to make the payment or like she would change the topic to something else when I text her. Not long ago, I posted on my ig story about her and she immediately replied me saying that why am I so childish to rant on ig story? She said that I shamed our friendship online and she was disappointed with me. Blah blah.. I deleted upon her request and she told me to keep hush about it. But like gurl, without that post, you would not even return me back my money. Then after she said she was facing some financial issue and that she need to salvage the house, so she asked me to delay the payment. The thing is that, if you have financial issue, you could just tell me instead of keeping it to yourself so I wont keep chasing after you for the payment. But all I see on her ig story, is that she went to Phuket for a vacation and spent the rest of her days chilling at the condo. I did not see her at work for so long. So how do you want me to believe that you are really cash strapped? Thank goodness after chasing her for payment for 2 months, she finally made the transaction. So much for saying that her bf gave her a 10k ring last time. But you could not even return me $100+ that you owe me. Best part of all, I got to find out that you have been speaking bad about me to others. Why would you want to do that? Disclaimer girl, everything that I had is bought with my own money. I worked hard for it and I don't depend on my dad for allowance. There are days that I do 2 jobs just to earn extra bucks for myself. So don't be a shit ass person telling other people that I'm rich so that you don't need to pay me back my money. Grr..

Busy

Gonna be busy with uni classes for 5 weeks straight. Pray hard that I can balance work and school life at the same time. The thought of doing my research proposal makes me wanna puke. Can July come fast? I'm thankful for the effort my boyfriend puts in to video call me despite the difference in timezone while he is busy with his masters' thesis. I can't wait to see him soon. I miss him so much! ):

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Exams break

Hey all! It's been long since I last blogged. I was busy working and going to university at night. I'm so relieved that I quit from my weekend assignments. Grrr. I cant take it when my client keeps degrading me when I'm there to do my duty as a nurse. I rather not earn those shit ass money from you. I have my pride and dignity. I'm not gonna kowtow to you even if you are some big shot. If you don't know how to respect me, then there is no point for me to carry on. I swore that this guy hit my maximum limits of patience. I was so happy the moment I walked right out of the house after my last shift. I was on cloud nine man. Eekk! Right now, I'm having my exams break. I should really start mugging soon. I'm so excited to see my friends and family tomorrow. (: Oh, today I received a call from my agent that a Caucasian dude was specifically looking for me. He said that I used to work for him before and kept requesting for my new number so he can discuss something with me. When my agent tried calling him back, he did not pick up the call. LOL. What a weirdo.

Visiting Gabriel after work. Seeing you made me forget about my unhappiness. 

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Blessing in disguise?

Despite I'm on my annual leave right now, I couldn sleep well for the past few nights. I had nightmares twice in a row since last Sunday night and this weird dream on Monday night that caused me to feel so uneasy the following day. Indeed, the bad news I've gotten the next day was my rejection letter from UOG. I was so upset because this was the only way to see my babe in a year time. But oh well, at least I was accepted by UOS. Perhaps, God have planned a better route for me? So I should take it as a blessing in disguise? I'm glad that my Dad was supportive in the decision I made. I'm also thankful for having amazing friends who spent time with me during this period that I'm feeling low. (: 

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Lies again

Random dinner date with Mr J last night. You told me to freshen up and you came fetching me at my place. Damn, you changed your Audi car to a Mclaren MP4-12C. The adrenaline was pumping in my bloodstream as you sped to town. Holy. For once, I decided to clarify with you about the women you were dating and all those rumours that the Drs were gossiping about us. One look in your eyes, I can tell straight away you were lying. How you tried to convince me in believing your lies. Nice try. You come and go as and when you like. I was merely your side chick. When I told you that your friend texted me, you laughed and said that you guys have the same taste in woman. I cant believe you even thought that I went out with your friend when I'm the loyal one in our relationship. Oh well, that was the past. Cheers to being friends again.   

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Feeling better than before

I've gotten the answer that I wanna know. Thanks for being honest with me. I bawled my eyes out last Tuesday night and I definitely feel much better now. At least the suppression feeling in my heart has gone away. To be honest, I don't understand why are you so annoyed with me? But I've learnt that you cant make everyone happy. So whatever that makes you happy, I'm just going with the flow. If you want a timeout or you decided not to be friends with me, I'm cool with it. After all, its your choice when I told you mine. 

P.S: Surprise surprise! Someone remembered to get me a gift from Korea after coming back from a medical conference. Funny how everyone think that we are still dating. I must say we have really good acting skills. Hah. 

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Surprise 22nd birthday celebration!

So your homegirl will be turning 22 years old by midnight. I was surprised to see my clique last evening for dinner because I thought I'm just going to hangout with Hyung only. Had dinner at Jack's place and they brought me to bowl at DTE. I like to bowl but I sucks so badly at it. I was the first from the bottom. Hahah. I'm so happy with my birthday gift this year. The clique gotten me a purple polaroid camera that I always wanted since eons. Indeed, they are the people who know me the best!

Squad goals!

SSF

As I said, last month wasnt a good month for me. I was facing with love issues that gotten me so emotional. It was through this difficult time that I realised the ones who are always there for me was my fam and friends. The truth hurts, but at least I know that I'm not overthinking. It's the fact and I gotta move on with my life. They said time will heal my wounds. But how long will it take? It has taken a toll on me. I cried again as I woke up this morning. This is not how I used to be. You know you are stronger than ever, J.

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Scumbag

July had been an emotional month for me. One word to describe it is terribs. After this whole N saga, I've learnt not to trust guys easily. I blamed myself for not being judgemental in the first place. Why didn I listen to other people advices? Yes, I was wrong to misunderstood you about work. But I cant accept the fact that you cheated behind my back with 2 other ladies. You disgust me. You lied to me with all your fucking sweet talks. You were the one giving me false pretense. You are simply a scumbag.

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Work politics

So it's the end of my annual leave. ): Back to grind at work tomorrow. I need to strive to be better each day. After catching up with Tina last night regarding about work, I got to know the ugly truth of work politics. People may be nice to you, but they could backstab you to the higher authority. Honestly speaking, I hate to be compared with others. Everyone have their own learning strengths and abilities, so what's with the competition against each other? Argh, thinking about it just makes me dizzy. I shall not let negativity get into me. One shall stay humble and grounded. That's just my two cents worth. 

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Good Friday

Felt so happy to see this on my ask.fm page. Reading this message motivates me to work even harder. Thank you Anonymous! :D March has been a crazy month for me. Not forgetting that I splurged way too much as well. /:

With Claire, Toby and Seth 

Met Claire and the little boys last Saturday at DC cafe. As I have been feeling down recently, seeing them makes me really happy! I thanked Claire for always being there for me giving me wise advices. 

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Thoughts

I should not have talked about him last night. I cant believe I actually teared up the moment I think about Max. Oh Jasmine. 

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My little Seth

Hatched Cafe

Daily scoop

It was my day off last Saturday and I decided to meet up with Claire at HV. Just nice her nephews are staying over the weekends and I always hoped that one day I could meet them and that day was it! I cant believe the reaction that Seth gave me when he first saw me! He ran towards me and hugged me till both of us fell on the floor. We brought him to Hatched cafe for dinner and daily scoop for ice-cream. It's a pity that I didn't really hangout much with Toby. They are so adorable and I cant wait to see them the next time! After we brought him home, Claire and I went to Esplanade to chill. Yes to getting her hooked on Chicharon. Hahaha. Anyway, I'm feeling super relieved for completing my competency checklist for IVAM, cannulation and venipuncture just before my due date. Next up would be passing my probation. I also got to meet up with my nursing colleagues for dinner recently. I'm thankful that they were there for me to hear my rants. I really hate to be involved in work politics. ): 

I got hooked on watching this Thai lakorn drama.

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Happy news!

Finally, its TGIF! No work tomorrow means I can sleep in a little longer! I'm on cloud nine because I passed my medicine theory test and assessment! I cant wait to get over with my competency checklist for IVAM. I wanna thank my girl Claire for accompanying me to mug for my paper last Saturday evening. I always felt apologetic to her because I always fall asleep in the noon when I'm suppose to meet her on our planned date.

OOTN

Went for my monthly dental appointment and this time it hurts so bad. Firstly, I had a tough time trying to hook em rubber bands on my braces. Secondly, the metal parts on my inner teeth is rubbing against my tongue. All I feel like is to keep my mouth shut and sleep. ):

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Say what?

Don't blame me if you cant handle your man well. We are clearly just friends. Look who is the one being guilty? My conscience is clear so you can try harder to break me down by sending me unpleasant text. By the way, your boyfriend didn tell me anything about you. So how do I even know that you exists? Sorry if there's any misunderstanding going on. I totally can put myself in your shoes. But you wanna be friends with me after sending some rude messages? No, just no.

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Enough

Hell yeah to the end of my IMON module! I hated this module a lot because I didn have a single friend that is in the same lecture or tutorial with me. Basically, I was a loner for a semester. The only thing that I'm looking forward for every Wednesday was meeting my FYP members. I survived despite nearly getting debar from exam because my attendance didn hit the minimum criteria.

J, pull yourself together. It is not worth getting sad over a guy. You knew the fact all these while, but you are only living in denial. You thought you had a slightest chance of winning him over, only ended up cheating yourself. Since you saw pictures of them together, it's time to move on. Have a big cry and then head to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day.. (: 

Being judgemental

It really saddens me to know that my love ones kinda of judge me. Its like if you wanna know the truth, ask me. Dont have to ask someone else to creep on me. I feel disgusted and disappointed. I'm a grown up. I need to learn and experience things by stepping out of my comfort zone. Being overprotective with me doesnt help me in any way. People just assume everything like as if they know what are my wants and need. Come on, just let me lead my own life. Just be there to guide me and listen to my point of view. That's pretty simple, aint it?   

Feeling down.. ):

So.. I got a message saying that I did not get into the bboy club. That kind of hurts a little. But I just take it as a blessing as I may not be able to commit to the CCA due to school work. Right now, I just want to take a break from work to give my full concentration on my studies. Oh yeah, I lose my voice due to partying last Wednesday. I should had restrain myself from drinking alcohol. Damn man..

With Brandon my homeboy!

With Hyungie!

With Mr Okay.

With Tivya my babygirl! 

Whole party mates!!

I felt really down yesterday that the moment I reached home, I cried while chatting with my dad. Man, it felt like Friday blues. I felt like I lose track of my life for a moment. Tons of things to do that are incomplete. What's more unnecessary small quarrels, it just made me feel so sick of everything. I just feel like escaping from reality once in awhile. But the moment I wake up, the vicious cycle happens again. I can hide from reality, but I cant run away from it. I need some time alone to do some self-reflection.

Friend/Boyfriend?

When your friend and boyfriend are in a dispute, what will you do? I understand that you will be put in a difficult spot. But as a girlfriend, you gotta know what is right and wrong. Your boyfriend made insulting comments about me. He can get away by saying its all a joke while I gotta apologize to him for misunderstanding his words. For fuck sake, dont you think he is wrong too? Think about it girl, who was the one who asked me to say all my unhappiness? Just because I was being straightforward with my words, you are feeling hurt. Are you kidding me? The reason why I apologized is because I cant stand it when you text my friend every single day to ask me to apologize to your boyfriend. Best part of all, he could only reply with an "um". Oh, is not that I didn apologize to him before, I did. But it was not enough for a petty "man" like him. Now I have a clearer view of whom my true friends are. So what if our friendship is more than 9 years? You can even suspect me of crushing over my friend's boyfriend? Oh woah. *claps* I'm amazed. You told my friend to doubt me and made me feel guilty to my friend on the other hand. What's wrong with you? Before that I was blinded by our friendship, but now I'm not. On the other hand, thanks for the aussie trip. I grew closer to my best friend and letting me see both of your true colours. I will just end my post here. I dont want to expose all of your dirty doings, my little angelic friend.